What do Paul Henry, David Garrett, Tony Veitch, and ex New York Governor Eliot Spitzer have in common?

We all have a shadow. This is what it is to be human; we contain elements of dark and light, good and bad. It was the great Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, who coined the term shadow or shadow work. From him we are able to understand that the shadow consists of the parts of us we are ashamed of, deny or simply repress. “I’m not that,” we might profess. We see our shadows in others but continue to deny they live in us. This is known as the phenomenon of projection, a defence mechanism that temporarily protects us against something we would rather not be exposed to; in this case the fact that perceived unpleasant qualities live within us.

Let’s suppose that a New Zealand born man has an English born mother and finds out as a child or teenager that his heritage is part-Gypsy. Knowing the stigma attached to gypsies in Europe there may be some sense of shame     or confusion around this discovery. It could detract from his feeling of being a “real” New Zealander (whatever that may be for each individual). But this shame and confusion is uncomfortable and perhaps illogical so he pushes it down and pretends it doesn’t exist. It still influences him, of course, as he judges other New Zealanders and rationalises and compares to himself whether they look and sound like “real” New Zealanders.

We know that the deeper the shadow is hidden the more powerfully and unexpectedly it reveals itself. So for this man, years later as he fronts a television show interviewing the prime minister, his shadow “explodes”. The discussion is centred on choosing a new Governor General, following the reign of the current New Zealand born Governor General who happens to have ancestry that is Indian. “Are you going to choose a New Zealander who looks and sounds like a New Zealander this time?” the man asks, at that time     probably still having no idea of how his long suppressed shadow is about to sabotage his television career.

I can go on. David Garrett, the Act spokesman for law and order and a spokesman for the “Sensible Sentencing Trust” pronouncing on people who “believe the law doesn’t apply to them” admits to having once used a dead child’s identity to fake a passport .

Tony Veitch, a respected sports broadcaster whose colleague described him as having “extraordinary work ethics” violently assaults his ex-partner fracturing her vertebrae.

When I was living in New York in 2008 I can remember the shock news story     that broke when New York State Governor, Eliot Spitzer, was found to be patronising a prostitution service. The former New York state Attorney General had been a staunch crusader for “ethics” in the early 2000’s.

And so I could go on. Do I stand in judgement on these individuals? Hardly. I’ve spent years exploring my own shadow; observing my own separateness and differences, my own deception and my own rage. Finding our shadows is like peeling a very large onion.The shadow resides in the darkest recesses of our humanness. It thrives in the dark and eventually we will discover that what we cannot be with simply will not let us be. When we don’t see and own our own shadow it will eventually get our attention whether we like it or not.

But what I know and have experienced is this: once seen, acknowledged and accepted for what it is, the shadow begins to lose its power over us. And     who knows? Once we bring the light of consciousness into the darkness we may just find that at some time in our life that particular shadow may serve us well. There is a time for rage and a time to stand alone; on the odd rare occasion, deception could prove to be protective. 

Either we use our shadows to serve us or, inevitably, they will use us.

About the author

I led staff in the health sector here in NZ for many years (charge nurse, unit manager, project manager) before co-establishing a training and health consultancy company. After studying intensely in the USA I came to realise that most leaders focus on the external world when it is a focus on the internal world that brings about extraordinary leadership. Come and join me on an extraordinary journey...