What is the beach ball aspect? When we encounter various aspects of life, it’s often akin to looking at a beach ball. People look at the same thing, yet see something different because they view it from a different angle. When a person looks at a beach ball they may see a red, yellow and blue stripe. Another person may look at it and see a green, orange and white stripe. Neither is ‘wrong’ they are just seeing it from their own perspective.

And so it is with life issues. For example if a mother chooses to stay at home with her young child she may see her choice as beneficial because it helps the bonding of mother and child and allows them to have experiences together. Another mother may choose to go out to work and place her young child with a childminder, her view being that it’s beneficial for the mother and the child as they are both getting extra stimulation. Neither mother is ‘wrong’ they are just seeing it from their own perspective.

How can it help us?

Once we are aware of the beach ball aspect it can help us in two ways:

1. Understanding others
Firstly it can help us to appreciate other people’s point of view and see why they do and say the things they do. This can lead to greater understanding and tolerance.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have wondered “Why do they think that?” or “Why do they do that?”
If you can see the situation like a beach ball, you can understand that you have approached it from a certain angle, while they have approached the same aspect simply from a different angle.
Our life experiences will often determine why we see things the way we do.

For example I used to work with a woman who came to work every day dressed as if she were about to go to a wedding or a formal function.
“Why does she always dress like that?” hissed a female colleague “Why can’t she dress like the rest of us do? Does she think she’s better than everyone else?”
I could understand why she would think that, and I decided to ask the woman about her choice of clothing.
It turns out that she had spent many years married to a man who had treated her badly. It had knocked her confidence a lot and she felt inferior to her work colleagues. She saw them as much more confident and self assured than she was, and the only way she could feel ‘worthy’ of working alongside them was to dress as well as she could.  She in no way felt any better than the others. Quite the opposite in fact.

Another time a colleague came to work one morning, fuming. Her 11-year old son had called her a liar. She was angry and appalled that he could say such a thing about her and had told him so. She thoroughly intended to carry on the argument when she got home that afternoon.
I smiled. “He’s just testing the boundaries” I said “He doesn’t really think you are a liar, he’s growing up and just wants to see how much he can get away with.”
We both saw the same situation and yet we viewed it differently.

When we don’t understand someone it’s usually worth checking with them, or asking others for their thoughts on the matter before we make a rash decision, gain an unfounded viewpoint, or take some action we may later regret.

2. Expanding our choices
Understanding the beach ball aspect can help us to look at things from more than one angle and therefore widen our viewpoint and provide us with helpful options and more choices.
If we only see a situation from one angle, it may limit the choices we have and reduce the appreciation we can have for it.

For example, a woman was given a painting as a gift by one of her friends. She didn’t like it as she saw it as a picture of a dull, dark landscape. However she didn’t want to offend her friend and so reluctantly put it on the wall.
One evening she invited this friend and a group of people round and asked each one what they liked about the painting.
Her friend explained how the picture reminded her of where she lived when she was a child, that it brought back fond memories and made her feel peaceful and relaxed whenever she looked at it.
Then each of the others gave their viewpoint, explaining the aspects they saw in the picture and why they liked it.
Everyone was amazed at the wide range of aspects that could be seen in the painting, and they all ended up with a greater appreciation of it. The woman herself also gained an appreciation of the gift and was flattered that she had been given a picture that meant so much to her friend. She happily left it on the wall.

If a situation occurs where all you can see is a negative aspect, picture it as a beach ball and see how many other aspects you can find. Ask other people their views. Perhaps think about people you know, and imagine what their viewpoint would be. Or think about successful people who have a completely different lifestyle to yours, eg a media celebrity, a businessperson, a politician, and imagine how they would approach it. To have got to where they have got, they must have in some way have a different viewpoint to you.

And if a situation occurs where you are struggling to make a decision, check with others and see what viewpoint they have on it. Sometimes we get too tied up in thinking that there is only one way of dealing with an issue.

Issues in life aren’t only the red, yellow and blue stripes, they are usually much more colourful than that.
Make sure you see other sides of the beach ball before you make your decision.

Kim Chamberlain is a motivational speaker. Contact her on kim@successfulspeaking.co.nz; www.successfulspeaking.co.nz

About the author

Kim is a professional speaker and trainer in communication skills. She is the founder and principal of Successful Speaking, a speaking and communications training business.