When you meet someone new, do you find yourself curious to know what they do and why? Are you interested in the things other people do well and equally, the things people love to do as work?

Over my lifetime I have met people from all walks of life and curiously I have yet to discover a pattern to predict who I will or will not find interesting.

People interest me immensely, really.

I believe ‘talent’ as a ‘quality’ has an unnecessarily narrow focus placed on it.  Is talent not simply something a person does well?

Do you find the more interested you are in what people can do, the more you realise what qualities underlie that achievement – courage, sacrifice, perseverance, altruism and so on.

A fundamental way of displaying ‘respect’ is; applying an attitude of healthy interest in others, no matter what it is they do or why.  Not only do you learn a thing or two, you also build rapport with that person authentically.  Therefore, a willingness to respect others leads quickly to engagement. People KNOW when you are respectful or not. Respect isn’t just polite greetings; it has to contain interest

Interestingly, the more familiar a person is to us, it appears the harder it is to remain open to them with a healthy attitude of interest; judgments set in. 

Imagine for a moment, engaging with the people you already know, with this curiosity and openness - they would feel the difference immediately and you would then open a new pathway, for potentially enhancing the relationship.

Using this in workplace context…

Imagine yourself in a usual work day, similar work rolls across your desk routinely and you become focused on doing things in a certain way… you build a habit out of that ‘certain way’.

Now imagine one work day someone joins you in the task and does it differently.  Your defenses might come up and feelings of having to ‘protect’ your ‘certain way’ may flare.

What difference would it make if you stopped, settled your pricked heckles until you felt calm and then approach that person with a question? Something like:

“That’s a really interesting way of doing that, would you share your strategy with me?”

I’m not suggesting that your way needs to be changed but by inviting that other person to share their strategy, you are building rapport with them and creating much more opportunity for collaboration.  Being open to new ways or just ‘other’ ways is also an important element of developing preparedness for change.

Respect is…

Validating all parties involved by offering the opportunity for everyone to share their viewpoint or perspective before a judgment is made.

[Respect should not be confused with tolerance, since tolerance doesn't necessarily imply any positive feeling, and is compatible with contempt, which is the opposite of respect.]

About the author

"Having studied intrinsic and extrinsic motivation through the viewpoint of many different modalities, I discovered the best way to move forward and create a life of mastery and purpose. I realised, there is a significant mismatch between what science knows and what people & business do. I have made it my purpose to take the learnings of many years into the lives of people & organisations, to those who are willing to look at how they get what they get & take the challenge to approach life powerfully by working with their own intrinsic motivation to power them forward with purpose."