The other day, I received an email from one of my clients who said she realised that she was not talking to her inner child because she was feeling resistance and felt uncomfortable while talking to her inner child. So, she stopped. And that meant, she didn't get to feel good. It was as though a light bulb went off in her mind, as she realised that she was listening to her feelings instead of being a strong and conscious person who could take charge of her thoughts.

What's the benefit of speaking positively and with optimism to your inner child? 

There's quite a few: over time you begin to feel better about yourself; you begin to be more productive and constructive in the things you do; you begin to feel more motivated and more energetic. And you might even feel happier...

Think about it this way...

When you beat yourself up you just make yourself feel worse, don't you?  How can you feel better when you 'should' on yourself, or tell yourself you are stupid, or say things like "I'm ugly and fat"?  It's impossible to feel good about you when you do that, and the more you do it, the bigger and wider the rift grows between taking positive healthy actions, and your motivation to do it.

Sure you might want to be motivated, but I bet it is a struggle to feel motivated, and even more of a struggle to take actions.  The more that you continue the negatively impacting self-talk, the more you will slide down and probably begin to feel depressed.  Truly, if you want to close the gap between motivation and action, the best approach is to be encouraging of your inner child, encouraging of yourself, because that implies you can do it if you support yourself.

So, acknowledge happily your achievements, even if small, and don't imply they are small. Babies have to wriggle before they crawl, then they crawl for a long time before they hold onto the furniture to get around, and finally one day they can stand alone, and eventually they feel balanced enough to take one small step.

How you think about things is the same for you.  Change your thoughts to positive and encouraging "You can do it" "Give it your best shot, and that is good enough" attitudes and help yourself to have a healthy mind.

Do you say things to yourself that you would not say to a 3 year old child?  Do you do things that you would not let a 3 year old child do? Such as consume too much caffeine, chocolate or alcohol?  Do you not do things that you would insist a 3 year old child do - like drink 2 to 3 l of water (for an adult of course), eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, socialise with others, run, jump and move your body, laugh and play and rest?

If you mistreat yourself, then it might be time for a change.  Change is scary for any child and your inner child is no different, so extra outside support is sometimes needed on top of your caring and considerate approach to you.  Be kind to yourself, you are worth it.

About the author

I was born in Gordonvale, south of Cairns in sunny north Queensland, Australia. Like many of us, I married, had children, and later divorced. I am now a doting grandmother, and live in Lutwyche a suburb of Brisbane, and have a private practice here. I have a huge interest and love for all things healing and spiritual and studied many complementary therapies, until I decided to work with the power of your Subconscious mind, your inner child. I became a psychologist in 1999, and I'm also a Master Practitioner of NLP, Timeline and Hypnosis, with 2 separate quals as a Clinical Hypnotist.