Planning another pregnancy after losing a baby can be a very difficult time.... Giving myself permission to have 'fun' again helped enormously with my healing process.

Planning another pregnancy after losing a baby can be a very difficult time. It can leave you feeling guilty, like you're trying to 'replace' your baby. One way I thought about it was that I wasn't replacing her, but providing her with another opportunity to come into this world in a better functioning body. Moving forward with your life is an important part of the healing process. Making plans and acknowledging your emotions can help you through this time. Take the time out for yourself to acknowledge your feelings, and then move forward into your planning stage.

Getting yourself back into physical shape can help too. Allowing your body to recover can help your mind recover.

What can you do to get back into your best physical shape?

What activities do you enjoy?

What clubs were you involved with before you were pregnant?

What have you always wanted to do, but haven't had the chance to yet?

Ask your partner for support during this time and remember that he may need your support too. If you do decide to get pregnant again, remember that heightened feelings of anxiety are to be expected, so allow yourself to feel 'paranoid' if you need to. Speak more often with your midwife, ask for further monitoring, if you think it will help.

Giving myself permission to have fun again also helped me enormously with my healing process. This can be a hard thing to do, but is certainly worth the effort. Have fun with your partner again.

And remember with love; I have planted a beautiful Rose garden in memory of my daughter, and I spend time out there enjoying the beauty and fragrance that it gives. I speak with her often and let her know of my plans.This gives me peace.

About the author

Nicki Hayward is an executive and personal coach specializing in supporting parents and family during stillbirth, miscarriage and other newborn deaths. Nicki is a member of SANDS Christchurch. For further information on these services please visit: www.mybabyloss.com