This book contains information and applications for almost every area of your life and could have a major impact on the relationships you have with your partner, children and animals - if you let it.

What one book has made the most power difference in my life?

Don’t Shoot The Dog, by Karen Pryor. I read this book years ago, before I’d even heard of NLP. I was training a couple of dogs for obedience and agility competitions at the time and the books’ title intrigued me. The book isn’t really about dog training so much as training anything and everything! I recently read this book again and realised just how much value in contains. The methods that Karen Pryor has managed to instil into this book are hard to argue with. They appeal to common sense (once you know how) and are very logical and practical.

What was the key message I took from the book? 

That you’re always training behaviour in the people and the animals in your life anyway. You achieve this by what you do as well as what you don’t do. You can choose to do it consciously and compassionately using positive reinforcement to get the results and relationships you would like. Or you can continue doing the things you’ve always done and blame other people for their bad behaviour. 

Why did the book mean so much to me? Two things

1. I managed to train my parrot, Shaggy, to fetch sticks using these methods and then to pick up an 18 long cm stick, run through a 9 cm diameter tunnel with it and then bring it to me - on command! (See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9m8mSKLijY) I’ve also taught my puppy, Ragz to sit, down, ‘speak’ (see that here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y39jte0NjU) high 5, high 10, heel, twist (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7zajGrfZnw ), etc. All exercises with both parrot and dog were accomplished in a short space of time and with their full cooperation. It’s been lots of fun for all three of us. (Actually I suspect Shaggy is training me!)
2. The book describes the many consequences of and uses for classical conditioning (Or anchoring, to use NLP terminology). Anchoring is something that occurs naturally and is triggered by a stimulus. For example, the smell of popcorn may make you think of the last movie you saw, or hearing your name called makes you turn around to see who’s calling. It can also be used on purpose and its applications are almost as limitless in as your own creativity. This book explains how to use anchoring to develop better relationships by training your kids, partner, animals etc in a conscious, compassionate way, without yelling, screaming or using punishment. 

Who should read this book?

Only read this book if you’re interested in getting willing cooperation from the people and animals in your life. It’s tempting is to blame others for what you consider bad or annoying behaviour without contemplating how your own behaviour might be contributing to it. This book is therefore for parents, teachers, trainers (people and animals), managers, coaches and leaders.  If you are willing and open-minded enough to examine the compelling evidence that you can change others behaviours without them even being aware that you’re doing it you’ll find this book totally enlightening.

About the author

Stephanie Philp is the Director of MetaMorphosis Ltd. (Director is a very fancy title for someone who does everything!) She is based in Raglan on the wild coast where she facilitates NLP Practitioner trainings in a venue high above the Tasman sea. When she's not writing, training or coaching, she loves walking her Tibetan Terrier Ragz or singing with her parrot, Shaggy.