Although 3 weeks of lying on the beach of a tropical island might seem like a great way to de-stressify yourself, sometimes that just not possible! So here are some quick, practical and easy ways to de-stressify, chill out and generally get back to feeling in control. AND, you can use them all year round.

A King was discussing affairs of state with an overseas diplomat. In the middle of the discussion, Samuel, the Kings right-hand man rushed into the room. He was quite distraught about something, but the King was in no position to discuss it. “Samuel,” said the King, “Please… remember rule number 6.”

Samuel immediately calmed himself, apologised and left.

Not 10 minutes later, Maria, the King’s secretary came in, tears streaming down her face, obviously upset. The King reminded Maria too, “Please… Maria, remember rule number 6.” The Diplomat was impressed by the speed with which Maria also became calm and was extremely curious to know more about rule number 6.

Samuel and Maria are like many of us; we can get thrown off balance by life’s events. But it’s our reaction to those events, not the events themselves that cause stress.

Please read the last sentence again because it’s vital.

Therefore, you can change your reaction so you’ll feel calmer.

Here are some rules you can use to be more relaxed and productive at work and to switch off outside work. Remember they only work if you actually USE THEM. Just reading about them won't make any difference whatsoever!

1. Label your emotional state another way.
Anxiety and excitement have the same chemical structure. However the way you label your state determines how you’ll experience it. I’d prefer to be excited rather than anxious! What about you?

2. Establish some ‘switching off’ anchors.
People who are successful at separating their work from their non-work life have ways of signalling when to ‘switch off’. Here are some examples:

1. Take a shower when you get home and change into casual clothes. These actions signal the start of a new part of your day.
2. Before you leave work at the end of the day, check your diary and your desk to ensure everything is as up to date as you can make it. Ask, “What’s the last thing I need to do NOW, so that I can switch off for the day?” You’ll get an answer – I promise. Do it. Then, when you switch off your computer and/or the light in your office, mentally switch off your work mind as well! Leave the place tidy - there's nothing worse than facing a mess the following day.
3. Listen to music on the way home. Make sure it’s something that will provide a change of pace. Maybe something upbeat if you’re feeling low on energy, or relaxing if you’re feeling particularly “wired”.
4. Learn how to anchor yourself into a relaxed state using a gesture. Go here to find out how to do this: http://www.metamorphosis.co.nz/goodies/arts/nlp/instant_relaxation.html

3. Get it out of your head.
If you have a tendency to get overwhelmed and stressed with tasks or assignments that seem enormous, follow these tips to get back in control:
Think of an all-encompassing name for the task or assignment using a couple of key words, for example "Project Everything." Now, get a large piece of paper and writing these key words in the centre start mind mapping all the tasks associated with that project, moving from the centre outwards to smaller and smaller details. Identify the order in which things need to be done and get started on number one! You’ll find that each small element can be easily handled and you can just tick them off as you, or someone else (that’s a clue!) does them. And remember to add them to your accomplishment list (see below) when you have.

4. Get organised.
Disorganised people put pressure on themselves and others. If you spend endless hours looking for information you’ve “filed” in some specially devised and unique system - so unique that even you can’t remember how it works, or if your office looks like the aftermath of a recent tsunami and you can’t even find your diary, let alone use it, these are tell-tale signs that you need to get organised.
There are countless books, articles and systems available to help you be better organised. Choose ONE, learn how to use it, practice it and stick to it. You need to use something consistently for several months before it becomes a habit. So set up a system and then work it. Your blood pressure will thank you for it as you start to feel more in control of your life. Get a diary and keep it with you, so whenever you think of something you can write it down immediately and, more importantly know where to find it again later.

5. Exercise.
Go for a walk, a run or a bike ride. Exercise sends happy chemicals to the brain and leaves you feeling great.

7. Realise that you’re never going to get to ‘the end.’
There will always be more to do (unless you're dead - then you won't need to worry anyway!) We’re often so used to looking at our ever growing "to do" list, that we forget to take the time to acknowledge our achievements. Take just a moment to write the things that you have accomplished or progressed each day in your diary (yes, the diary -remember that?) Not only does it build your confidence to notice achievements, it helps you relax about the things still on your list.

8. Say “No” and mean it!
If you genuinely can’t do any more say no. You won’t turn in a troll or a black toad!

9. Lighten up.
Have a laugh and a joke. Try www.metamorphosis.co.nz/humour/

10. Try the “Calm Spot.”
If you can find a spare 7.5 minutes in front of your computer (and let's face it, it's a bit sad if you can't), go to http://www.metamorphosis.co.nz/goodies/calm_spot.html  and I'll have you relaxed, refreshed and ready to face the world (or at least work) again in no time!

Now, if you were paying attention (and you were, weren’t you?) you will have noticed that there’s no number six.

So what is rule number six, I hear you ask? 
And that’s exactly the same question the diplomat had asked the King. Well, rule number six is (drum roll…)

“Don’t take yourself so damn seriously!”

“And what are the other rules?” inquired the diplomat.

“Oh”, said the King, “there are no other rules.”

About the author

Stephanie Philp is the Director of MetaMorphosis Ltd. (Director is a very fancy title for someone who does everything!) She is based in Raglan on the wild coast where she facilitates NLP Practitioner trainings in a venue high above the Tasman sea. When she's not writing, training or coaching, she loves walking her Tibetan Terrier Ragz or singing with her parrot, Shaggy.