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There are times when we need to push past our natural inclination and ‘not be ourselves’ to get the result we need. In a performance review you may need to tell someone they are not measuring up. Do you tiptoe around the point, or are you able to talk about the things you need to, in a way that confronts the problem and sets a plan in motion to overcome it? Some confrontation avoiders see every hard conversation as a potential confrontation and often will do nothing and hope it goes away.

I hear this over and over - “One Day, when everything is sorted…. then I will ......(live the life I really want to live…”) In my work, I meet a lot of men who are holding off from living the life they want now, and seem to think that there will be an ideal time, in the future … when things will be different in some way. I hear them say… When: • my finances are more secure.. • the children grown up and leave home • the house is paid off.. • I have a better paid job.. • I have time…

Are you a great sleeper - able to put your head down, and doze off easily? It is said to be the gift of the angels! Yet you may have times in your life when sleep doesn’t come so easily. You may have a one of these types of sleeping issues : • Dropping off to sleep ok, but waking with thoughts going around in their head and then you can’t get back to sleep. • Not being able to drop off well at all - and when you do it is on and off with wakeful times.

What Book has made the most powerful difference in my life? I was struggling with understanding the concept of me being the creator of my reality; that I create my own happiness, my own health, my luck, and my misery. This was a totally new idea and didn't sit well with me. Until then I had thought that life was about being lucky, was "in the stars", DNA or 'fate'. Life was what happened to me and I had no hand in it. Then someone suggested I read "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay.

Have you ever tried being unpredictable? It is a very cool and useful tool I use with my children. Having lots of choices about the way I behave and react to situations allows for lots of fun and surprises when the children ask me for something. This means they can never tell exactly how I am going to react.. and they can’t manipulate the situation with sulking, greasing, and demanding. They can try though.

One of the biggest questions which comes out of the NLP models is “What do you want?” If you come to see me for any anything, then that will be the first question I ask you. It is something you could begin asking yourself more often. What do I want? Often this is interpreted as “what don’t I want” and can be distracting and a wee bit limiting, but getting clear on what you actually want is a valuable place to begin.

I have learned that some things just can’t be resolved. True resolution of anything is very hard to accomplish, in fact full resolution only happens in about 5% of situations. You may think things are resolved, but there may be undercurrents, and unexpressed resentments which will not go away. Have you noticed how we work so hard to resolve problems issues and hassles in our lives, especially around relationships? What were you taught as a child, which compels you to try to make up?

I am wondering how some young people today can be comfortable with carrying knives, ok with stealing, converting cars, drinking and driving young, abusing each other, having fights in the school ground sending abusive and threatening texts to each other… are abusive to teachers and other adults, are disrespectful of authority - all types which are in the news every day - disheartening us further about their future. This is a short list of stuff we hear about daily. So…

Have you got a child you don’t get on with? Maybe they remind you too much of yourself, or someone you don’t particularly like? Maybe they appear different from you in behaviour and style, and you can’t connect with them? A few years ago, someone I was seeking some advice from someone told me that my son was more like me than I knew - and that I should make an effort to get to know him better. This was quite a shock to me!

Clients often seek personal help when dealing with behaviour problems in their children. A very healthy and simple way of changing a child’s behaviour is to undertake a 5 night “Sleep Talk” process - where you read your child a customised script each night when they have gone to sleep. Your familiar voice, your loving tone, and the personalness of the message “gets in!” and the child is given a message of love, support, and positive outcome which they unconsciously acknowledge and implement.